More Water

I haven't exactly been doing the best job at drinking more water. It was my intent when I started my weight loss journey to drink more water every day. Instead, I drink lots of tea that's been sweetened with stevia. While it's calorie-free, it isn't helping me get my daily fluid intake, because it's caffeinated and therefore a diuretic. I know when I haven't been getting enough water, because my body retains water and causes my fingers to get all puffy. I could just drink more tea, but according to the research I've done, I'd be consuming WAY too much caffeine. So I suppose I need to grab the tiger by the tail and actually drink some water. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't HATE drinking water so much. It's just so boring! Sigh.

At any rate, it's time to list my daily feature that I like about my body. Today, I choose my wrists. They're not thin or fragile, but they still have a delicate look to them. Very feminine and pretty, in my opinion.

Another Rainy Day

I think Mother Nature is telling me I need to find a new method of cardio. It is raining again today! I'm seriously contemplating donning my rain gear and taking a walk anyway. I'm still doing my leg strengthening and ab exercises, so at least I don't have to feel like a complete slacker. The rain is supposed to clear up on Thursday, and the warmer weather is supposed to be coming with it. That'll be good, since I've pretty much decided to cut the heat off from here on out. I'll have to put up with my husband bitching about how cold it is, but I don't care. If he wants the heat on, then he can just go down in the basement and turn the furnace on himself. But anyway... (You can probably tell that he's getting on my nerves a little. I'm just trying to remember to breathe and let it go.)

In other news, my second thing I'm going to list as a positive attribute about my body is my face shape. I have a square face, and I think it makes me somewhat unique, as a girl anyway. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today, and I really think I have a nice jawline. I do think this list is going to do me some good, because I feel better already just being able to think to myself, "Wow, I do have some nice things about me."

Well...

I really didn't want to, but somehow I got up the gumption to exercise today. I managed to get myself dressed and go for a walk, which woke me up enough to get the rest done. Rainy, dreary Mondays are not the best for motivation, let me tell you.

Anyway, I'm excited because tonight I'm making homemade pizza. Pizza's not something that's typically on the menu when you're watching your weight, but I'm making mine with low fat cheese and turkey pepperonis and serving it up with a side of salad, so it'll be tasty and good for me! I was telling my husband last night that I'm really thinking of doing homemade pizza night once a month. I think our daughter will really enjoy it when she gets older and can help me in the kitchen, plus it's cheaper and healthier than delivery.

Yesterday while I was exercising, I came up with an idea I'm going to see about making a new habit. Everyday, I think I should try to come up with something positive that I like about my body. This will help me focus on my positive attributes on the days when I'm not feeling good about myself. My first positive attribute I'd like to list is I have nice looking feet. They look slender and smooth, and are really pretty when my toenails are painted. So that's one thing. We'll see where this list takes me.

Week 1 Results

Last week's measurements:
Weight: 168 pounds

Waist measurement: 35 inches
Hip measurement: 44 inches
Thigh measurement: 26 inches

This week's measurements:
Weight: 164.4 pounds

Waist measurement: 32.5 inches
Hip measurement: 43.25 inches
Thigh measurement: 25.25 inches

I feel good about the progress I'm making already!

One More Day

One more day to go, and I'll have completed the first week of the trek to a healthier me. Yay! That in and of itself is an accomplishment. Usually I only get to day three or so before I get frustrated and quit. I've read that it takes 21 days to establish a habit, so that means I have only two more weeks to go before this truly becomes my new modus operandi.

Tomorrow is reward day. After I finish my exercises, I get to walk down to the local convenience store and get myself a 20 oz. soda. Is it sad that I'm looking forward to that so much? Maybe so, but it's a good thing. I can't really call it a reward if it wasn't something I enjoy a whole lot.

Monday morning I'll post an update on my weight and measurements. I hopped on the scale only twice this week: once to get my starting weight, and once again because I was dying of curiosity. I'm purposefully avoiding the scale as much as possible,  because I tend to become obsessive about it otherwise. I also will get discouraged if things aren't happening fast enough, even though I know slow and steady is actually better for you when it comes to healthy weight loss. My goal is to only weigh myself at the beginning of each week. Didn't do so hot on that this week :), but it was only once, so that's not too bad. As long as I'm not checking myself morning, noon, and night (which I have done in the past, I'm ashamed to admit), I'll be alright.

Yay!

This morning I was overcome with the temptation to step on the scale. I'm down almost three pounds since Monday! Talk about encouragement!

One Last Post Before Bed

Today was a difficult day for me. I posted earlier about my midday hunger - well, I came really close to going over my calories for the day. The more I think about it, the surer I am that my hunger, today at least, was caused by frustration. It was one of those off-kilter days. My husband came home from work this morning (he's working night shift this week) at ten 'til 7 and jarred me out of sleep. Even though I had plans on getting up at 7, this rude awakening left me groggy and grumpy. He then proceeds to the office upstairs, even though he knew the creaky floors would more than likely wake up the baby. Sure enough, as soon as he walks by, she wakes up. Not that he's concerned with that, since he's not the one who takes care of her. Unfortunately, this caused me to miss my morning mommy time, which is when I was planning on doing my exercises. Instead, I had to put off my exercises until the baby's nap time, which caused me not to get as much housework done, and also prevented me from taking a short nap. I didn't need the nap per se, but it would have been nice. I'm not going to ramble on, but suffice to say the rest of the day followed suit. Now here I am, tired but unable to sleep, bored out of my ever-loving mind, and trying my best not to get up and get an ice cream sandwich or some chips to make me feel better. I give up. I'm going to go try to get some sleep.

Hungry

Once again it's midday, and I find myself hungry. I haven't noticed a correllation between hunger and what/how much I eat in the mornings yet. I'm thinking it might be boredom, since I was feeling bored and restless today. I can't remember if I was bored on Monday though. I'll have to also remember to document my moods when I'm trying to decipher this pattern from now on.

What should we have for dinner tonight? I'm not really sure what I'd like to eat. I'm thinking I may try an Asian pork dish with brown rice. I saw it in a Taste of Home healthy foods recipe booklet. Actually, yeah, that's what we'll have. At first I had ruled it out because we had an Asian dish a couple of nights ago, but this one will be different enough that it shouldn't feel repetitious. I'm going to get the pork out of the freezer now. Later, everybody!

Whew!

I just finished my workout for today. I even got to go on my walk! It figures the sun would come out, and it would warm up AFTER I got back, but I can't complain. It was nice to get out of the house. The rest of the workout was not so great. I'm so sore that it was pretty hard to do my ab and leg exercises. However, I just gritted my teeth and got through it. Now it's over - hooray!

I'm feeling pretty good on this day three. Although there's not yet a change in my physical appearance, I'm already seeing a change in my self-image. I think all the positive affirmations and the knowledge that I'm doing something good for myself is helping. Well, that's all for now!

Day Two

Well, it's the end of day two. I've managed to stick to my calorie limit for a second day; I even made a tasty dinner that was surprisingly low-calorie for the portion you get.  I did not exercise today because I was away from home so long. Even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to walk to the post office because of the rain. All in all, I still say it's going well. I wasn't as hungry today; perhaps what I ate yesterday wasn't as filling. I'll still need a little more time to know for sure. Well, that's all for now. I'm off to bed!

End of First Day Review

I made it! That in itself is a step in the right direction. My total calorie intake for today was 1392. I did my ab and leg workouts, however the rain never let up long enough for me to take my walk to the post office. I got pretty hungry in the middle of the day for some reason, so I'll be analyzing that more closely over the next few days to see if I can notice a pattern that will help me deal with the midday hunger. All in all, it went pretty well, and I'm ready for tomorrow! I'll be taking a trip to the grocery store for some much-needed supplies, as we don't have a lot in the house that can be labeled as healthy. Anyway, that's it for tonight. I need to get in bed early so I can get up and get ready for my daughter's medical appointment. Ciao!

I did it!

Well, I just finished my exercises for the day. I feel hot, but good. Believe it or not, my knees already feel a little better! The only thing that makes me a little sad is I probably won't be able to walk to the post office today, unless it stops raining. I'll check again when the little one gets up from her nap. Oh, I'm also on track with my calories so far today too. I feel a little hungry, but I think it's because I've gotten my body accustomed to eating at certain times and whatnot. I'm going to go find something to do so I'm not tempted to snack out of boredom. This is going to work this time, I just know it! Wish me luck!

Today is the Day

I've only been up an hour and a half, but I'd say I'm off to a good start. This morning for breakfast I had a toasted english muffin with an egg and a sugar free coffee drink mix with low fat milk. Unfortunately, I didn't get to do my exercises before my kiddo woke up, so those will have to wait till nap time. The only thing I regret is not getting enough sleep last night,  because being sleepy doesn't motivate me to exercise. My plan was to be in bed by 11:30, but I got caught up in reading about the new health care bill that was passed last night, and then my husband came home, and we stayed up and talked for a while, so I didn't get to sleep until about 1. That made getting up at 7:00 kind of difficult. It can't be helped now though.

Anyway, I was telling my friend last night about my weight loss plan, and she presented an idea I hadn't thought of. She suggested I break up my total goal into several smaller goals, like five pounds at a time. This way, I don't get discouraged because I still have so far to go. So I'm going to give that a try. I'll be sure to announce the achievement of my first goal when it gets here!

Forgiveness

I lot of my previous weight loss attempts have been foiled by my tendency to throw the baby out with the bath water when I slip up and cheat. The self-doubt creeps up and tells me I can't do it, that I'll fail just like before.

When it comes to my weight, I beat myself up a lot about "letting myself go." So I decided, in order to be successful, I need to forgive myself. So I wrote a "forgiveness mantra" of sorts. I think I will read this to myself if I slip up, and hopefully it will help me to not abandon my goals.

I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for the disrespect I have shown my body.
I forgive myself for not taking care of me.
I forgive myself for allowing me to become overweight, thus resulting in health problems and low self-esteem.
I forgive myself for indulging in self-pity and engaging in destructive modes of thought.
I forgive myself.
From this day forward, I let go of my past wrongs. I will no longer berate myself for my mistakes. I will move forward, away from the negative and toward the positive. I willingly accept change and will no longer return to my self-deprecating ways.
I forgive myself.

My Plan

Here's what I've come up with to help me lose weight. I'm going to start out with sticking to 1400 calories a day. I did some research that says 1200 calories is about the lowest recommended amount of calories you should restrict yourself to. I'm aiming just above that just in case I hit a plateau and need to make a change to break the stalemate. No food will be strictly off-limits; however, I'm going to try my best not to make a habit of eating junk, even if it is low in calories. My plan is to eat things high in fiber and low in fat and sugar. When dinner rolls around, my intention is to fill my plate up with more veggies and less meat and starches. I'll also consume more fruits as  snacks and make a change to skim dairy products. Although I really hate water, I'm going to try to drink more of it. I'm also going to take a daily multi-vitamin. It probably won't help me lose weight, but it will make me feel better.

I love soda, so I'm going to make my reward for sticking to my plan a trip to the convenience store for one 20 oz. at the end of each week. Past experience has proven that I can't keep soda in the house without drinking it, so I think this will be a good way to have it without going overboard. I gave up my soda drinking habit for Lent, so I know I can handle only having it once a week.

For exercise, I'll be doing three things. First will be a series of leg strengthening rehabilitation exercises my doctor suggested for my patellofemoral pain syndrome. I've had the pamphlet on these exercises for a little over a month and haven't used it. The exercises will make my knees feel better and tone up my thighs, so now's as good a time as any to start. Second will be a ten-minute ab workout from my Exercise On Demand channel. The third will be (since the weather is nice again) a daily walk to the post office. It's about two blocks from my house, so if I walk with a purpose instead of just leisurely strolling, and I avoid taking shortcuts, I'll be able to get my heart rate up for about 15 minutes during the trip. I'm considering an additional walk in the evenings, but for now, this will be a dramatic improvement in my activity level.

In order to keep myself on track, I'll be keeping a food journal that lists how much of everything I eat and how many calories I've consumed. Since I believe in the power of positive thinking, I'll also be reciting a daily weight loss affirmation to keep me motivated. I would post it, but it's kind of personal, so I'll just keep it to myself.

So there's my plan. It's not fancy, but I think it'll work. I'm starting first thing tomorrow. Here's to a better me!

My Starting Point and my Goals

Here is what I look like now. This picture was taken in July of '09. If you saw my last post, you know I'm a far cry from where I want to end up. Here's where I'm starting out:

          Weight: 168 pounds

          Waist measurement: 35 inches

          Hip measurement: 44 inches

          Thigh measurement: 26 inches

This is my goal:

          Weight: 140 pounds

          Waist measurement: 28 inches

          Hip measurement: 40 inches

          Thigh measurement: 22 inches

(Just for reference, my waist measurement is taken right at my belly button, my hip measurement is taken at the widest part of my hips, and my thigh measurement is taken at the largest part of my thigh.)

So there it is - where I am, and where I want to be. I'm coming up with a diet and exercise plan that I'll post shortly. Soon, I'll be ready to rock and roll!

My Inspiration Picture

I've picked out a picture to serve as my inspiration for my weight loss endeavor. This is me in the spring of '02:

I'm not sure exactly how much I weighed in this photo (it wasn't 168, that's for sure!), but I like the way I look in it: healthy, happy, and beautiful. So this will be the picture I look at to remind me of what I'm striving for. I know a lot of people choose their most embarassing fat pictures to motivate them to exercise and eat right, but my fat pictures just depress me and make me want to curl up and hide. It seems negative reinforcement doesn't work for me. I'm going to print out this picture and put it up in a place where I'll see it everyday. When I want that cookie, or that second serving, or I don't feel like exercising, I'll look at this picture and remember that my efforts are worthwhile.

Day One

Today is the unofficial first day of my weight loss journey. I've started this blog to document my efforts and record my feelings as I travel along this road.

This morning I stepped on the scale to find that I weigh 168 pounds. I've been holding consistently at this mark for about three months, which is actually pretty amazing, since my eating habits are horrendous. This is honestly not as bad as I thought it would be, but it's still not good. I'm 5'4", so I really should be in the 120-140 range. I think 120 is probably out of the question, since I haven't weighed that since high school, but 140 is totally doable.

I think what I'm looking for even more than the weight loss is the recovery of my self confidence. When I was in high school, I was unique in that unlike most of my female friends, I had a very positive body image. I'm not exactly sure when or why, but sometime just after college, my confidence began to wane.  Over the course of 5 years, my self esteem took a nose dive, and as my confidence plummeted, my weight increased. Then one morning I woke up and was 175 pounds. I was trapped in a pit of self-loathing and despair. My mother-in-law talked me into trying the Atkins diet, and I was able to lose 23 pounds over six months. My confidence started to come back, so I know that losing this weight will give me the boost I need.

So what happened? Why did my weight go back up? I got pregnant with my first child, so I took a dieting hiatus. After delivery, I actually did reach my pre-pregnancy weight again, but as soon as I quit breastfeeding, that went right out the window.

And now here I am again, at 168 pounds and holding. I don't hate myself, but I'm certainly not content. Occasionally I stumble into a rut of depression and self-pity, but I realize that kind of thinking isn't getting me anywhere. I also realize that fad diets aren't going to get me anywhere either. Looking back on it, as soon as I had reached my goal and quit doing Atkins, I would have gained everything back anyway. The only real way to do things is the right way - healthy foods, portion control, and exercise. So that's what I'm going to do. Wish me luck everybody! 140 pounds, here I come!